career fairs

On Saturday, I braved the oncoming snow storm to attend a career fair in NYC. It was quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever done -- risk my life for a job.

I was really not looking forward to going because, as I may have outlined previously, career fairs are completely lame. You stand in line to talk to a person for an exorbitant amount of time only to realize that the person sucks and that they're just going to refer you to apply online. I could have done that without talking to you person-whose-name-I-no-longer-remember. Either that or they take your resume and stick it in a gigantic pile where it will magically vanish into a vortex of forgotten resumes.

Exactly this happened at the career fair, only this time I was more savvy about my endeavors. Yes, this time, I just walked around aimlessly, talking to people without any real expectation. I observed the undergrads at the fair, all eager about their future once they left school. I smiled knowingly to myself, knowing that they were destined to face a life of ineptitude, dissatisfaction, and unfulfillment. That's what happens when you sell your soul to The Man.

ways to remain unproductive at work

At the office, the work is really boring. I've resorted to juvenile, high school tactics to avoid work. I'm only mildly ashamed to admit them, but I figure you may also benefit from them.

The first tactic is to drink a lot of diuretics.

I usually roll into the office between 9:30 and 10 and brew myself a cuppa joe.

I usually limit myself to one only because I don't want to stain my teeth excessively. I also don't want to become severely addicted. One is good for me. Gotta cut myself off. 

week 2

Today my manager was going to take us all out for alcohol. Not drinks. No, no, he said alcohol. To get us crunked. Primed to brainstorm. No lie. We didn't end up doing it, but I'm pretty sure he was fairly serious about the offer. He just had some stuff to get done, so he ended up leaving the office early.

We followed suit. It's only reasonable because, oh right, we're exploited laborers.

Yes, we can take off at any time, thanks for reaffirming that. I wasn't sure. Thanks for making me feel bad for not getting there exactly on time. This is essentially volunteering.