the vicious cycle of cookie-ing

Cookies. 

This is totally a draft of the version of an essay I will someday write and publish about the vicious cycle of cookie-ing.

I'll explain.

My family is very skilled at baking. In case you haven't noticed, see just about every picture I've uploaded to Facebook over the past few months. The photos are usually of my edible creations.

Around Christmas, nearly every middle-aged woman in suburban America takes to baking. And around this time, nearly every middle-aged woman with a social life feels the need to gift the cookies she has just baked, even if they're not good.




Suburban mom #1 bakes some cookies and gifts them to suburban moms #2 and #3, possibly #4, depending on how much she has baked. Suburban moms #2, #3, and possibly #4, then take their cookies and give them to suburban moms #5, #6, and sometimes give some of their own back to #1, or even #2, and #3, if they're feeling so inclined. Which they probably are.

The end result is that cookie trays are passed throughout the community over and over again. Sure, a few may get eaten here and there, but for the most part, the cookies are just recycled and passed on to the next suburban family.

Heck, why would I eat someone else's subpar cookies when I know for sure that mine will be tastier. I especially don't understand why someone would gift slice and bakes. I loathe those cookies. They're really gross, no matter how much they fill in a good cookie platter.

So why don't we just stick with our own cookies and only gift cookies to people we know for sure can't bake? Right, because it violates the spirit of giving, and it's always the thought that counts.

My thinking is that if you didn't know I'm an awesome baker and that I don't want your cookies, you're not putting much thought into it at all. In fact, every time you bring over a plate of nasty, stale cookies I get a little insulted.

As it stands, our dining room table is laden with cookies that we have been given and with cookies that we've baked. There is no way that we're going to end up eating all of them, so more than half will probably get tossed in the trash, so ending the vicious cycle of cookie-ing.