gone

Yep, that's right. I quit for real this time. I refuse to go back to that horrible place where I was verbally and emotionally abused day after day.

fts

I'm not going back after tomorrow.

happiness

This is a chart depicting my current level of happiness. I'm hoping things turn around soon. 

networking my way to the top

Well, DB followed through on his promise to introduce me to some people. Nothing has happened yet, though. I watched as he called up his friend and told him about me and my other co-worker.

Nothing much else has happened in the office lately I'm sad to report. I've been blogging, tweeting, and writing up some market research reports as usual. Luckily I haven't had to make a stupid deck in a while.

i quit

So yesterday, I told my "bosses" that I quit...and they wouldn't have it. I've been telling people that they didn't let me resign, but ultimately it's up to me. I realize I hold the power and that I can just stop showing up at any point. The problem is that I just won't leave on favorable terms.

I can't believe I actually used the words "I would prefer to leave at the end of the week," and they kept pushing me to stay. Like I'm actually that valuable to them? Unlikely. It's not like they're helping me find a full time position.

time

Every day that goes by I lose a little faith in myself. I'm watching as my former classmates return to school for their final semester, full of that same hope I felt last year. People said it would be difficult to find a job, but no one warned me that it would be this hard. I suppose I should have suspected it, given the current economic climate. I'm guilty of hubris, of thinking that it would be easy, that my track record would speak for itself.

the courage to quit

I am a coward.

I can't summon the courage to quit. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's about time I quit this miserable job because I'm no longer learning anything.

I should just leave. Help me leave!

Yesterday I had an informational interview from which I didn't expect much. It was a pretty neat company down in Chelsea; they seemed pretty chill, but I'm just not sure it's for me. If you've seen "Friends with Benefits," it's sort of like that atmosphere that Justin Timberlake was working in pre-GQ. Yes, just like that. Dim lighting, with little globes of light hanging from the ceiling. The elevator was pretty ghetto, and the interior held glass walls, wooden floors, and an open floor plan. Everywhere people were dressed casually, in ripped jeans, crumpled t-shirts. Many of the employees sported large tattoos and piercings.

interviewing while sick

So, if I were smart, I probably would have rescheduled my interview with that ill paying job so that I wouldn't have to go into a meeting while hacking up a storm.

I guess I'm not smart.

Nah, the interview went pretty well considering I was coughing every other minute and my sinuses were seriously congested. All this pressure was building up inside my head. I could barely think straight, but I made it through.

The interview itself wasn't terrible. I wasn't asked that many questions, and I just talked about all of my experiences. If there's one thing that this internship (that I hate) has done for me, it's made me more confident in my abilities. Well, I'm not sure if that's quite it. It's probably that it's made me not care about anything. I'm largely apathetic toward everything in life now. Basically, it's beaten the hope and compassion out of me. I don't care about anything.

job interview X

Last week I had yet another phone interview, and it seemed to go well in spite of my current state of ill health. Yeah, I haven't been sick in nearly a year, and then I caught a cold. I think it's a cold, but it could be something else.

The interviewer told me upfront that the salary wasn't very good. I wonder why she did that. That's never happened to me before. Does that suggest that it's a terrible job?

Why is it that I always find the worst paying jobs?

According to Payscale.com, the median starting salary for economics majors (like myself) for 2010-2011 was $47, 300.

pompousness

It's come to my attention that I sound a little pompous when I write here.

My response: Why yes, yes I am.

You can't get anywhere unless you believe in yourself, right? So I'm just going to keep on being awesome and you can read if you like or stop if you don't. Glad we got that settled.

a promotion

In a truly twisted turn of events, I've been promoted to "Senior Analyst." Yes, that's right. The unpaid internship is rewarding me with more work. Now, I'm in charge of a few of the new analysts and have to help them project manage. The only problem with this is that it's more work and that I have my own projects to work on.

I'm a little pissed off about it because I stated last week that I would be leaving next week, next Friday, in fact. And now they expect me to stay through the end of the month because they're covering my transportation costs. Right, because my labor is so cheap you might as well just pay for my transportation and give me some extra work while you're at it.

happy new year

Happy New Year! With this coming year, I have a few resolutions and hopes that I'll share now. They are in no particular order.

1. Get a job. Preferably one that doesn't make me want to kill myself. That was harsh. I actually mean find one that is fulfilling and pays and that doesn't involve me getting yelled at every day.

2. Find some mancandy. It's only right. Focus on the job first, and then focus on personal life. Come on life, even my younger sister has a boyfriend now. This is totally unfair.

3. Embrace femininity. Whenever I get really depressed, I throw trying to look good out the window. This year, like I said last year, I will try to dress better and figure out how to wear makeup and all that jazz. Right now I'm wearing holey jeans, an old t-shirt, and an Old Navy fleece pullover. Not a great start, but I'm not going anywhere today. Oh crap, this is how it's going to go for the rest of the year isn't it?