please exploit my labor

In a not-so-shocking turn of events, I have even proven inept at acquiring an unpaid internship. Yes, I and my genius have once again failed at obtaining an unpaid internship. Unpaid. Internship.

Here I am, fully willing to forgo the security of income for a job opportunity. I was willing to do grunt work, fully knowing that what I would be doing would not be beneficial to me when I could be freelancing some articles all day, or reading, or blogging, or working on my novel.

Well, I tried. I guess in the grand scheme of things, it's nice that they actually informed me that they weren't "moving forward with my candidacy." Right, like there was anything to garner from that kind of job experience. I'm sorry the plight of individuals around the rest of the world doesn't move me as much as my personal needs do.

national coffee day

I just wanted to wish all the fans out there a very felicitous national coffee day. Without coffee, I'd be a zombie.

This post is dedicated to everything coffee related, so let me just take a few minutes to write about coffee stuffs.

Fun Facts
(from Wikipedia)

• The energizing effect of coffee was discovered in Ethiopia.
• Coffee berries contain coffee seeds, also called "coffee beans."
• After being removed from the coffee berries and, in some cases, undergoing fermentation, the beans are roasted. 
• Coffee's flavor depends on the degree of roast. Darker roasts have a more sugary flavor while lighter roasts have a more complex flavor. This is because during the roasting process the starches in the bean are broken down in caramelization.
• Decaffienation is performed prior to roast and can be completed in a number of ways, one of which is using a solvent to dissolve the oils containing caffeine. 

five-a-day

Every morning my inbox is inundated with more job postings from a few job boards to which I subscribe. I scan through them, clicking on the ones that sound vaguely appealing, but the majority of them are jobs that hold absolutely no interest to me.

Gosh, you're so picky, you're probably thinking. While that may be true, this is also my life we're talking about, and I'm not going to waste it just doing anything. I might as well just do some more reading or studying while I wait. I'm making a modicum of money just freelancing silly articles. Besides, as unhappy as I am now, I'd be a thousand times worse off doing a job I hate.

I apply to about five jobs a day, which is how that figure in the last post is so high. I've got the process done by now -- upload a resume, input pertinent personal information, alter cover letter slightly to reflect requirements of job, pray for the best.

infographic

There's nothing I love more than a good infographic. Today, I let the pictures do the talking.

more uselessness

The other day I went for another interview at another NPO -- this one much smaller and located in the Empire State Building. You'd think that would be cool, but the office is just like any other office except the area in which it's located is full of tourists. It's actually a little weird when you walk around and amble through the area because all the people who work for building management are dressed in bellhop outfits and have grins plastered on their faces. 


Anyway, the job isn't as exciting as I would have hoped and you really don't get exposed to that many interesting people. Basically I would be entering data into a database for how many hours they want to exploit my unpaid labor. I think I'll pass.


Luckily it wasn't a complete waste of a trip to the city. Afterward I walked to the New York Public Library and did some reading to kill time and take shelter from the pouring rain. I've never been more thankful for my smartphone because I could continue reading The Wall Street MBA, which I'm using to learn more about finance and accounting -- basically the stuff I should have learned a long time ago. And now I've got to learn SQL in order to prep myself for whatever job I'm bound to get.

This was taken from the steps outside the NYPL. I stood there for a good 20 minutes thinking "No...no...I'm not ready."

facebook free's the way to be

Since deactivating my Facebook account on Monday afternoon after certain events transpired, I have been amazingly productive. It's like I got this whole part of my life back. I feel as though a weight has been lifted. I feel so good. It's amazing. I wonder how long I can go. The last time it was about 5 days.

I'm not even joking. The time I usually spent staring blankly at an unchanging News Feed during the daylight hours I now spend reading about finance and accounting. I've learned all about the three essential financial statements and about the various forms of financial analyses. This time it's actually sinking it. I will make it sink in!

fedex

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was in my house on a typical afternoon when this giant FedEx truck laden with giant packages pulled up the driveway. The truck was balancing these large rectangular packages on the top, which then came bouncing up the path and into my house. I'm talking bigger than a car, bigger than the truck on which they were residing. In the dream, they were supposed to be pieces of insulation? They sort of resembled a cup cozy but for your house.

I chalk it up to reading Harry Potter at night.

waiting game

Ah yes, here we are playing the waiting game again. I applied to about 10 more jobs this morning, and scored another interview...with an NGO. Let's see if I can schmooze my way into my dream job.

So what does that bring the total tally to? Probably around 170. It's taking a toll on my mental health. Basically, let's liken it to dating. Actually, I might as well just join an online dating site so I can compare how many hits I get on both and make some more cool charts.

In other news, I've quit Facebook for the time being. It's a distraction and a time-suck.

My hood is up. Gangsta me is back.

fast money

Last week I visited the great city of NY for one purpose and one purpose alone: to become a millionaire.

Since I've been home, I typically eat lunch in the company of the television. So around midday I flip to ABC to watch News at Noon, which directly precedes the ever popular Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I'm just kidding, I don't think the daytime version of the show is that popular. In fact, the average audience members is probably between the ages of 50 and 85. A friend and I had been planning to audition for a while now, but since I was bored I decided to just go and do it.

It's funny because all of my run-ins with mass transit have resulted in me bolting from place to place due to unforeseen delays. Last week it was rainy and I was running about half an hour late, which was great because seating for the show is done first-come, first-serve.

a day in NY

I spent most of today traipsing around NYC. The purpose of my visit was to interview with this NPO for an unpaid internship. I've resorted to unpaid internships in the job search, pathetic, I know. The organization is great, and I'd love to do work for them, but it's going to cost me. I can only hope that if I get the internship, it will pay off later in life. 

This is a breakdown of my day. Sorry the image is a little blurry, you may have to click on it to enlarge. Anyway, the interview took almost no time because let's face it I know my stuff. I spent the majority of the day on mass transit (bus, subway). To be fair, I started off at Port Authority, and then jetted up to the Upper East Side because I was running late (BUT I MADE IT ON TIME!) Then I visited a friend in midtown, then visited another friend at NYU. I got pretty lost around NYU because...well I don't actually know why. I didn't really look at the map, but thankfully, I had my new phone to help me. Phew. Otherwise, that could have gotten bad. 

Plus I got some pinkberry today, so all in all I'd say it was a pretty great day, which is saying a lot since you probably got all depressed after reading my last post. It's OK. We're all going to be fine. 

dumb dumb dumb

I'm completely useless, honestly. What was I doing studying all of these useless subjects in high school and college? Economics? Useless. English? Useless.

Why didn't I realize that when a recession hits the economy, all people want are mechanized robots to plug and chug numbers. We don't need thinkers. We don't need innovators. We just need the occasional accountant and engineer who will keep the world afloat.

There are a number of things I should have studied: 1) Accounting 2) Computer programming.

Instead, I dallied in languages,  music, and art.

Maybe I'm just cut out to be a bum. Yeah, it's pretty ironic that I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in high school and now I'm here contemplating finding a job at the mall to fund my educational loans and caffeine habit.

I'm going to start my own business.

post-grad blues

I guess gradually losing your friends from school over time is inevitable. I had hoped that it wouldn't happen and that we would just have the same connection from afar. In some situations it's possible. Maybe it just depends on your expectations. For people that matter in my life I will always make time, but some people just don't get that.

This graph shows the amount of contact I've had with people from my prestigious liberal arts institution over the summer. (Mind you, I'm not actually insane and just guesstimated, though my guesstimates tend to be dead on).  

an average day

Today is just another average day in what appears to be the most mundane beginning of autumn I have ever experienced. It's a lazy day. Outside is still and full of green thanks to the extensive rainfall we've experienced this summer. Yes, it's actually quite nice admiring nature from my seat in our breakfast nook.

This morning I applied to a few more jobs e-mailed to me by careerbuilder.com. Thanks careerbuilder, only it seems that I've already applied to half of the jobs you listed. 

summer stats

This is a chart displaying my recent lack of success with the job search. These figures are approximate...I haven't actually been keeping that close of a count. Plus, there's the problem of where to count the several pointless head hunter appointments I've attended.

Here you see that the future looks fairly bleak. I've applied to 150+ jobs and just about 10 phone interviews. And still, no success. It's getting super depressing.  

But fear not. Something will work out they say, they promise you, as you walk away from graduation a few ten thousand dollars in debt. I'm not giving up hope just yet, but I have adopted a rather cavalier attitude toward the working world. Personally, I'm convinced that people aren't after the best. They don't want someone who is going to one day steal their jobs! They want someone who is going to be someone to pal around with. Well, my apologies then. I'm sorry I get a thrill out of working and that I'm just brilliant. Teach me anything and I will understand it and do it well. 

hello, world!

It's what they all say when they start blogs so I figured I might as well join everyone else.

This is the first post of "gainfully unemployed: staying sane and productive while job searching." You'll find a dose of my humor, as well as the tales of triumph and rejection that accompany the job search process. It's been three months (almost four) since I graduated from an esteemed institution of learning, and I've got plenty of stories to tell.

I hope you will bear with me while I write about this. Sometimes it will be painful, but I hope you will be able to find the humor that I find in it.