break

No one should work the week between Christmas and New Year's because no one feels like working, and nothing gets done anyway. We should all just come to an agreement and agree not to work. 

It's only fair.

the vicious cycle of cookie-ing

Cookies. 

This is totally a draft of the version of an essay I will someday write and publish about the vicious cycle of cookie-ing.

I'll explain.

My family is very skilled at baking. In case you haven't noticed, see just about every picture I've uploaded to Facebook over the past few months. The photos are usually of my edible creations.

Around Christmas, nearly every middle-aged woman in suburban America takes to baking. And around this time, nearly every middle-aged woman with a social life feels the need to gift the cookies she has just baked, even if they're not good.

things i've learned this week

The working world is just as apathetic as the school world. Once Christmas rolls around, everyone behaves like a little kid again, only worse. Because now in adult land, things can get ugly. You won't just not do your work and spend all day daydreaming about Christmas goodies; you'll also get into a shouting match or fist fight with someone at work.

The latter has yet to happen, but my co-workers and I discussed the possibility of throwing down some punches the other day.

another waste

Interview 10. Employment Staffing Agency 3? Possibly 4. I've lost track.

The moral of the story is that people at employment staffing agencies for entry-level jobs are useless. This woman had no idea what she was talking about, and as it turns out, the job she called me about isn't a good fit for me. Thanks a lot for making me come in to your office and fill out a bunch of useless paperwork. Hear from you never.

By the way, the office smelled like urine. Real classy.

froyo

Froyo from Yogurtland.

no exit

Work for the most part has been very uneventful over the past few weeks. The tasks I have to do are pretty boring and most of the time I spend my days staring at a computer screen slowly making edits to a powerpoint presentation that I know will just be criticized later.

I'm not sure there is a point in continuing to do this work.

The workplace has faced its fair share of drama, though. A co-worker and I have been continuing to discuss our exit strategy. Usually, interns leave right after they find a full-time job. The two of us are having no luck. It's been just over two months for me, and three months for her. Meanwhile, we're both quite frustrated at the lack of organization, communication, and effective management at the firm.

workin' it

As the year draws to a close, I get more and more depressed. Actually, I get depressed just about twice a year - on my birthday and on New Year's Eve. Both occasions remind me of how little I've actually accomplished since the previous year.

This year probably won't be much difficult. I still don't have much to my name other than a degree, which, in reality is just a piece of paper that the university can revoke at any time. Not that I think they have any reason to, I'm just pointing it out.

So I still don't have a job. I desperately want to quit my internship, but the generally accepted protocol is that we leave when we get a job. Ideally, these (non)employers are supposed to help us attain jobs, but that seems very unlikely at the moment.

chill week

DB isn't in the office this week. I've hit the jackpot!

I'm doing my work diligently -- didn't even chat with anyone extensively today. That's dedication.

However, I did get pretty upset about not having a real job. I guess it's ok since I'm doing something somewhat productive for the business world. Still, I wonder what's going to happen next. It's been over six months since I graduated, and things are looking bleak. I haven't gotten called for an interview in over a month. It's a busy time, sure, but it still doesn't make it any better. I really don't want to still be at this internship in January, and it's probably in my best interest to leave? Or is it? Should I stick around for the elusive promise of help finding a job?

This is going to be a short week. I'm taking a much-needed trip on Friday to get away from the dirty dirty city life. I'm quite excited.

week of the cake pops

This past week I mustered up all my entrepreneurial spirit and went into the cake pop making business.

This is a cake pop.

If you haven't  heard of cake pops, they are a magical dessert available in many shapes and designs that consists of a ball of cake, mixed with frosting and coated with chocolate.

So yes, this week, every day after work, I'd come home and make these delicious delights until the wee hours of morning.

gluttony and obesity

After gorging myself for the past few days, I've decided to reflect upon the obesity epidemic -- mostly because I want to gross myself out enough that I stop eating so much and resume working out on a regular schedule.

The week began innocently enough. I stayed with my aunt, like I said before, but she likes to feed me a lot, so we ended up going out a lot and eating froyo. I'm not opposed, but it's not like I was exercising besides my daily walk to and from work.

Then I came home and found...

THESE.

city life

This past few days, I stayed with my aunt in the city, which essentially took an hour off of my commute. It was glorious. I still took a bus to work, however, about which a coworker mocked me because he thought I was afraid of the rail system or something.

I'm not, for the record; the bus is just more convenient.

more reflections on a 2-hr yell fest

At various points throughout the session, I saw myself getting up from my seat, flipping over the table, and storming out. The door slams. I walk back to an all-too-crowded office and grab my belongings, trashing the computer as I do so. Don't think I didn't consider the possibility. It would be very dramatic, and I'm sure I'd leave more than one person in shock.

I should mention that in my youth I had a terrible temper, so restraining myself during this meeting was especially difficult as I felt the rage boil within me. I used to throw tantrums every day. I was quite the difficult child up until...no wait, I'm still difficult at times, but I digress. The point is that I have a temper and I held it in.

See, when DB is away from the office, which is not as often as I would like, things are great. I get some projects from the other two managers, and I don't feel so stressed out. I do my work, get their feedback, and we're good to go. I don't mind being exploited because I'm being treated with respect. DB, however, is known for "pushing people." I think it's more of an aggressive shove, like I'm being bullied on a playground or something. This is emotionally abusive. It's like all of those domestic violence pamphlets you read about how your significant other throws a tantrum and then tries to make it up to you by acting all apologetic and showering you with gifts.

on exploitation

For the past four days, I have been working non-stop at work. I barely even time to eat my lunch. I don't take breaks. I just work at my computer, letting my body get all strained and tense because I'm concentrating so hard. It's painful.

Why? You ask. Because I am being emotionally bullied into working like this because one of my managers is an enormous jerk. I will refer to him again as Douche Bag (DB, for short, and to save my blog from becoming a breeding ground for profanity).

Yesterday, he yelled at me and the other unpaid interns for two hours. Every two seconds he'd drop an f-bomb and then yell at us about how our work wasn't up to par. He wasn't even being constructive. He would just say "this is stupid," "this is bad." And then he'd be inconsistent about everything he was saying, so at various points throughout this yell fest, he'd contradict himself. This whole place is just a disaster in terms of communication. It's not like that many people work here -- get your act together, guys.

quick updates

I hate my internship. Yesterday I got reprimanded for "not managing my time well." A likely story. Like it's my fault that I was given a billion other projects to do, and someone was already working on my deck I had made anyway.

Today I got yelled at for two hours about how I didn't know how to make a deck.

Is this for real? How can I be getting mixed messages from managing partners? If this were my company, I would communicate among ourselves first before scrambling young, impressionable minds.

I seriously considered walking out and quitting right then and there.

stressss

Let me just tell you about my day because it was really stressful, unnecessarily so.

I got in a little later than usual due to a massive traffic jam. What do you want me to do? I can't control the traffic. Ordinarily I get there before most other folks.

Today when I got into the office, it was deserted, which I found a little strange. Apparently, three of the other analysts had just relocated to another room. Gee, I thought, that's a little weird. Now it's just me in this room...all alone...with no one to talk to if I felt the need.

One of the partners, whom I have dubbed douchebag, didn't acknowledge my presence at all. My safety was not one of his concerns. So that made me feel pretty worthless. A great way to start my morning -- full of anxiety and apprehension about my fate.

apple bottom jeans

At long last I have finally spotted the elusive apple bottom jeans!

They may not be so elusive in some circles, but among my friends they were a veritable mystery, a myth sparked by that song that mentions "apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur." What's it called? "Get Low," I believe.

Just about three years ago, I worked at the information desk in my local mall. The stories about that experience about, but this one day in particular, a guy wearing a bandana and a grungy t-shirt moseyed on up to the desk.

"Hello," he said. "Where can I find apple bottom jeans?"

Apple bottom jeans, I thought, those are real?? I thought they were just some made-up kind of clothing. I didn't know people actually wore them! Or actually sought them out!

job search update

In case you were wondering, here are the new metrics for my job search.

That's right, applications now total over 200. Phone interviews have gone up slightly, and on-site interviews haven't exactly changed. I have one internship offer -- the one I'm working at right now. Zero official job offers. 

11/11/11

One more thing. I totally missed 11:11:11 on 11/11/11. Totally.

I was so focused on my work that I completely forgot.

I'm really disappointed in myself and in everyone else in the office for not noticing this momentous occasion.

week 4

So I've just completed four weeks of work at my unpaid internship, and things are looking up. By up, I mean they're looking OK. I haven't heard from any potential employers still.

It's a huge downer, but I keep telling myself that everything will work out.

I'm getting the hang of things in the office, and trying to "own" my work. My expertise in design and writing is coming in handy, just like I knew it would. What I will say is that most of the time, everything is subjective, so when your bosses tell you to fix it, it's not because it's necessarily wrong, but just because they're the ones who are going to present the stuff anyway.

day in the life

As promised, I've returned to charts and graphs and stuff.

cancer sticks

Today I dedicate my post to all the smokers of New York City.

I hate you.

Smoking is the most vile habit I've ever come to know. It's smelly, it stains your teeth, and it gives you CANCER. Please, people on the streets, stop blowing your noxious fumes into my face. I've gone to great lengths to avoid you. I hold my breath when you're in my vicinity, I walk really fast (and I have really short legs so it takes extra effort) to pass you, and I try really hard not to hardcore judge you as you take another long drag, while you slump yourself against a building wall.

networking

I may have posted about the importance of networking before, but I'm about to return to the concept with a fresh perspective.

In the past, I've logically accepted the importance and practicality of networking while maintaining an intense hatred of it. It makes sense in my head. Why would you bother hiring some ruffian off the street when you can hire someone you know personally, who will undoubtedly do a good job? Yet, I still hated doing it because I felt dirty for having such self-interested motives. I'm all about looking at the whole picture and forging mutually beneficial transactions. I'm an economist, what can I say? (I've always wanted to use that line -- "I'm an economist, of course such and such.)

commuting

Commuting is the worst. It is really the worst thing ever. There is nothing more ideal than rolling out of bed, forcing some cereal into your mouth and then getting straight to work. The worst thing is commuting.

Commuting requires you to be simultaneously ahead of schedule and behind schedule. You have to get up extra early in order to arrive at the bus/train stop/station early. Once you board your mass transit vehicle of choice, you quickly scan the vehicle for the best seat. For me, it's the one by the emergency exit because let's face it, if there's an emergency I want to be able to exit immediately. There's also slightly more head room so I can stand up to my full height when I'm getting ready to get off the bus.

power(less)

Having no power for a week sucks. It sucks even more when it's due to a freak snow storm that has left your town crippled. It's even worse when it comes right after a vicious hurricane that already destroyed your town.

Needless to say, last week sucked. I had to wake up and get ready in the darkness, which was a lot worse because it was freezing cold in my house. I would smear some makeup on my face, hoping that it would make me look some semblance of normal, but really just know that I looked like a disheveled ragamuffin.

I'd get to work and do some really boring stuff for the entire day. For some reason, the office was also freezing cold, so I spent my days being really uncomfortable and cold. Then I'd come home and be cold some more and sit in the darkness.

career fairs

On Saturday, I braved the oncoming snow storm to attend a career fair in NYC. It was quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever done -- risk my life for a job.

I was really not looking forward to going because, as I may have outlined previously, career fairs are completely lame. You stand in line to talk to a person for an exorbitant amount of time only to realize that the person sucks and that they're just going to refer you to apply online. I could have done that without talking to you person-whose-name-I-no-longer-remember. Either that or they take your resume and stick it in a gigantic pile where it will magically vanish into a vortex of forgotten resumes.

Exactly this happened at the career fair, only this time I was more savvy about my endeavors. Yes, this time, I just walked around aimlessly, talking to people without any real expectation. I observed the undergrads at the fair, all eager about their future once they left school. I smiled knowingly to myself, knowing that they were destined to face a life of ineptitude, dissatisfaction, and unfulfillment. That's what happens when you sell your soul to The Man.

ways to remain unproductive at work

At the office, the work is really boring. I've resorted to juvenile, high school tactics to avoid work. I'm only mildly ashamed to admit them, but I figure you may also benefit from them.

The first tactic is to drink a lot of diuretics.

I usually roll into the office between 9:30 and 10 and brew myself a cuppa joe.

I usually limit myself to one only because I don't want to stain my teeth excessively. I also don't want to become severely addicted. One is good for me. Gotta cut myself off. 

week 2

Today my manager was going to take us all out for alcohol. Not drinks. No, no, he said alcohol. To get us crunked. Primed to brainstorm. No lie. We didn't end up doing it, but I'm pretty sure he was fairly serious about the offer. He just had some stuff to get done, so he ended up leaving the office early.

We followed suit. It's only reasonable because, oh right, we're exploited laborers.

Yes, we can take off at any time, thanks for reaffirming that. I wasn't sure. Thanks for making me feel bad for not getting there exactly on time. This is essentially volunteering.

synergy

As I've been working for nearly two weeks, I've heard used the same phrases over and over again. It's so irritating. What ever happened to spicing up your life with colorful language?

Here is a list of words and phrases that I'm tired of:

• synergy
• low-hanging fruit
• co-marketing / co-selling
• space
• sync up
• platform

That's all I've got for now, but I'm sure the list will grow longer with time. It's funny because what all these terms have in common is their vagueness. It's like they pretend to be more than what they are. They're pretentious words. They're words invented to refer to a meaning other than their original meaning, and used within the business context they simultaneously mean nothing and everything at the same time.

ungainfully employed

I've been thinking about renaming my blog to "ungainfully employed" because that's what I am right now, ungainfully employed.

Yesterday I went into the office early because I was sort of slacking off on Friday. I went to this conference and then bailed early. So right yesterday I went into the office early. Mind you, I'm not getting paid. I stayed the entire day and took my regular lunch break, which can be up to an hour. I used that lunch break to do an interview with another consulting company.

There I was, on the streets of New York City, trying to do an interview with a company that only alerted me about the opportunity on Thursday. They wanted me to interview on Friday, but I didn't have time that day. So the first few minutes were spent talking about my background and why I wanted to do consulting. The next forty minutes were spent doing a case interview. Yes, they made me do a case study over the phone. It sucked, majorly, because when you have no materials in front of you and a million distractions, there's no way it's going to end well.

week 1

Hello all,

I'm sure you've been missing my blog posts just as I've missed writing them.

It's a funny story really. Exactly what I predicted would happen happened. It's interesting how that tends to happen. Maybe TLC should give me my own show because perhaps I, too, am a "Medium."

I started my unpaid internship this week and learned that I essentially signed up to join a labor exploitation ring. The unpaid interns come and go, but that's what drives the organization - unpaid labor. The work isn't all that riveting so far. Basically I do "outreach," which translates to finding people to send mass e-mails to. I do that as well as make informational fliers. I never knew how important the flier could be until now.

5k

Today I ran a 5K for my town. (Yeah, remember Hurricane Irene? It destroyed my hometown and also took out my car. The streets where we were running drowned in three to four feet of water). It was the first 5K I've run officially. It was really painful because although I work out a regular amount for an average person, I'm still no runner. 

With every labored pace I took, I cursed myself for signing up for this torture. I can't believe people actually enjoy doing this kind of thing. 

english major

Every other day I curse the English major in me, not because it's utterly useless, but because it's actually the most useful thing on the planet.

Let me explain. Being an English major gives you this ability to think. And overthink. I overthink everything you can possibly imagine. Whenever an event occurs, I think about its symbolic meaning, its cosmological significance. I think about it so much that I often have this running dialogue in my head debating how different signs fit into my life.

Instead of, oh hey, my coffee just burned my tongue. I should have let it cool first. No, I think this: What did I do wrong to deserve nature's will punishing me by burning my mouth? I was probably too loose with my tongue earlier. From now on I will watch what I say.

froyo

This is a charge depicting my desire for froyo throughout the day. In case you haven't heard, I absolutely love froyo. Luckily, this place in my town just opened up so I can enjoy the delicious mixture of sweet and tart any time I feel like it.

graphs n charts

If you're missing my graphs and charts right now, don't worry, I miss them, too.

Ever since I set up this computer, I've been looking for the MS suite that I know I have lying around my house. The only problem is that I can't find it. I blame my very disorganized parents and siblings for this issue, because I am the only neat freak of the bunch.

I located MS 2007, only to find that the install disc was missing. Yes, these people are fiends, absolute fiends.

Now, I could always just use my laptop again; it's sitting here, conveniently next to me, but I don't want to.

tv

So remember when I was ranting about how I was going to find time to do all the other little side projects I like to do after I start my internship? Well, then 8:00 rolled around, and I was bored again.

I was planning on watching "Glee" last night, but it wasn't on, so I settled for "Cupcake Wars." I feel really dirty after I pull something like that, you know, watching mindless TV just to kill time. I hate killing time.

new computer

Ever since I set up my new computer, I've been in love with doing stuff. It's like I purchased the gift of productivity. So basically I've been sitting here, reading and photoshopping stuff to my heart's content. It's not sad, it's awesome. 

Yes, that's three computers running at the same time. 

in the interim

So, I have just about a week until I start my internship in the city, and I'm determined to pack in as much stuff as I can into this week. I'm actually getting a little nostalgic for this lazy life I'm currently living. How am I going to manage going into the city every single day and then doing all this stuff I'm doing right now?

I'm only half-kidding. I do find ways to fill my days, though they don't fit your average definition of productivity. I read a lot about business and startups, for one, because eventually I will start my own business. Lately I've been reading about different programming languages so that I can improve my web design skills. (One of these days I'll update the blog design and make it fabulous). I've also been reading novels and studying Chinese. Plus there's the whole freelancing thing, which comes in handy because that is how I'm going to fund my daily trips.

success

Well, it looks like I'm going to be underemployed for a bit longer. My interview on Friday seems to have worked in my favor, and I will begin interning at a startup consulting firm next week.

I guess I'm not useless. Maybe luck  has finally changed its course for me?

Of course, this would be the ideal situation if I were getting paid, but I do stand to learn a lot from this experience. For that I'm grateful.

As long as I don't have to fetch anyone's coffee, we'll be good.

The one thing that blows is that commuting takes a lot of time and money. Oh well, I'll still be freelancing at night.

That said, I have rejoined the Fbook community. Things are looking up.

autumn splendor

I once played a song called "Autumn Splendor" for a piano recital back in the day. The song sucked, I don't know why my teacher had me play it.

Anyway, the point of this post was just to discuss how awesome NY is when the weather is good. If you recall, the last time I ventured into the city a few weeks ago, I got totally and completely soaking wet. This time, I had a lovely stroll around the city before and after my appointment.

Here is Rockefeller Center. 

looking for a job ~ looking for a mate

I've heard a few people liken looking for a job to dating. In some ways I agree with the analogy.

1) Profiles. Sorting through company profiles and job postings is just like going through online dating profiles or scanning the singles ads. You apply, and hope for a match. 

craig's list

I've always been pretty sketched out by Craig's List for the following reasons: it's completely anonymous; Craig's List killer.

So when my dad sent me some links to odd jobs I could do, I was reasonably wary. I wasn't really qualified to do some of the jobs anyway, but one seemed viable. It was to translate letters from English to Chinese. I'm not fluent, but I have technology on my side, so I responded to the post. We've been going back and forth about the job for a while now, but nothing is set, so I'm losing hope that I'll even get to make a few bucks translating.

Yeah, I never thought I'd make some money off translating. See, maybe studying it in school wasn't a total waste.

perspective

Alright, alright, I'm going to put all of my complaints into perspective just for this one post so all you readers out there don't think I'm an insensitive jerk. And then I'll go back to being a little snarky. Ok, really snarky.

All in all, my unemployment isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. I'm not starving to death. I'm not dying of cancer. I don't live on the brink of poverty.

someecards

I'm in rare form today.

In fact, I can only express myself through these snarky e-cards.

Card 1
Card 2
Card 3

If you get one from me, well, you know what I've been doing then.

depressing

Crap.

strategy

My job search strategy varies from day to day. Sometimes I attack head-on, and then sometimes I get sidetracked. Lately I've begun to cast the net too wide, so I think it's time for some self-reflection and refocusing.

Here are the methods I've tried:

Strategy 1 - University Career Center / Site 

First I use my University's career center and website. It makes sense right -- it should have the most direct access to companies. I made several appointments with career counselors, but most were exceedingly unhelpful. Heck, I didn't know what I wanted to do and every time I would sit down and talk about my skills and interests, they would treat me like just another of the hundreds of students. They handed me some papers and told me to read through them and network.

I know it's important to network, and I hate doing it. I did what the sheets told me to do. I prepared an elevator pitch. I went to the career fairs. I never found anything that interested me. Career fairs were such a bust because you'd spend most of the time waiting in line to talk to someone who didn't really want to talk to you anyway. I'm being negative, sorry. That's just what happened most of the time. Occasionally someone would take my resume and stash it along with the dozens of resumes they had already collected.

please exploit my labor

In a not-so-shocking turn of events, I have even proven inept at acquiring an unpaid internship. Yes, I and my genius have once again failed at obtaining an unpaid internship. Unpaid. Internship.

Here I am, fully willing to forgo the security of income for a job opportunity. I was willing to do grunt work, fully knowing that what I would be doing would not be beneficial to me when I could be freelancing some articles all day, or reading, or blogging, or working on my novel.

Well, I tried. I guess in the grand scheme of things, it's nice that they actually informed me that they weren't "moving forward with my candidacy." Right, like there was anything to garner from that kind of job experience. I'm sorry the plight of individuals around the rest of the world doesn't move me as much as my personal needs do.

national coffee day

I just wanted to wish all the fans out there a very felicitous national coffee day. Without coffee, I'd be a zombie.

This post is dedicated to everything coffee related, so let me just take a few minutes to write about coffee stuffs.

Fun Facts
(from Wikipedia)

• The energizing effect of coffee was discovered in Ethiopia.
• Coffee berries contain coffee seeds, also called "coffee beans."
• After being removed from the coffee berries and, in some cases, undergoing fermentation, the beans are roasted. 
• Coffee's flavor depends on the degree of roast. Darker roasts have a more sugary flavor while lighter roasts have a more complex flavor. This is because during the roasting process the starches in the bean are broken down in caramelization.
• Decaffienation is performed prior to roast and can be completed in a number of ways, one of which is using a solvent to dissolve the oils containing caffeine. 

five-a-day

Every morning my inbox is inundated with more job postings from a few job boards to which I subscribe. I scan through them, clicking on the ones that sound vaguely appealing, but the majority of them are jobs that hold absolutely no interest to me.

Gosh, you're so picky, you're probably thinking. While that may be true, this is also my life we're talking about, and I'm not going to waste it just doing anything. I might as well just do some more reading or studying while I wait. I'm making a modicum of money just freelancing silly articles. Besides, as unhappy as I am now, I'd be a thousand times worse off doing a job I hate.

I apply to about five jobs a day, which is how that figure in the last post is so high. I've got the process done by now -- upload a resume, input pertinent personal information, alter cover letter slightly to reflect requirements of job, pray for the best.

infographic

There's nothing I love more than a good infographic. Today, I let the pictures do the talking.

more uselessness

The other day I went for another interview at another NPO -- this one much smaller and located in the Empire State Building. You'd think that would be cool, but the office is just like any other office except the area in which it's located is full of tourists. It's actually a little weird when you walk around and amble through the area because all the people who work for building management are dressed in bellhop outfits and have grins plastered on their faces. 


Anyway, the job isn't as exciting as I would have hoped and you really don't get exposed to that many interesting people. Basically I would be entering data into a database for how many hours they want to exploit my unpaid labor. I think I'll pass.


Luckily it wasn't a complete waste of a trip to the city. Afterward I walked to the New York Public Library and did some reading to kill time and take shelter from the pouring rain. I've never been more thankful for my smartphone because I could continue reading The Wall Street MBA, which I'm using to learn more about finance and accounting -- basically the stuff I should have learned a long time ago. And now I've got to learn SQL in order to prep myself for whatever job I'm bound to get.

This was taken from the steps outside the NYPL. I stood there for a good 20 minutes thinking "No...no...I'm not ready."

facebook free's the way to be

Since deactivating my Facebook account on Monday afternoon after certain events transpired, I have been amazingly productive. It's like I got this whole part of my life back. I feel as though a weight has been lifted. I feel so good. It's amazing. I wonder how long I can go. The last time it was about 5 days.

I'm not even joking. The time I usually spent staring blankly at an unchanging News Feed during the daylight hours I now spend reading about finance and accounting. I've learned all about the three essential financial statements and about the various forms of financial analyses. This time it's actually sinking it. I will make it sink in!

fedex

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was in my house on a typical afternoon when this giant FedEx truck laden with giant packages pulled up the driveway. The truck was balancing these large rectangular packages on the top, which then came bouncing up the path and into my house. I'm talking bigger than a car, bigger than the truck on which they were residing. In the dream, they were supposed to be pieces of insulation? They sort of resembled a cup cozy but for your house.

I chalk it up to reading Harry Potter at night.

waiting game

Ah yes, here we are playing the waiting game again. I applied to about 10 more jobs this morning, and scored another interview...with an NGO. Let's see if I can schmooze my way into my dream job.

So what does that bring the total tally to? Probably around 170. It's taking a toll on my mental health. Basically, let's liken it to dating. Actually, I might as well just join an online dating site so I can compare how many hits I get on both and make some more cool charts.

In other news, I've quit Facebook for the time being. It's a distraction and a time-suck.

My hood is up. Gangsta me is back.

fast money

Last week I visited the great city of NY for one purpose and one purpose alone: to become a millionaire.

Since I've been home, I typically eat lunch in the company of the television. So around midday I flip to ABC to watch News at Noon, which directly precedes the ever popular Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I'm just kidding, I don't think the daytime version of the show is that popular. In fact, the average audience members is probably between the ages of 50 and 85. A friend and I had been planning to audition for a while now, but since I was bored I decided to just go and do it.

It's funny because all of my run-ins with mass transit have resulted in me bolting from place to place due to unforeseen delays. Last week it was rainy and I was running about half an hour late, which was great because seating for the show is done first-come, first-serve.

a day in NY

I spent most of today traipsing around NYC. The purpose of my visit was to interview with this NPO for an unpaid internship. I've resorted to unpaid internships in the job search, pathetic, I know. The organization is great, and I'd love to do work for them, but it's going to cost me. I can only hope that if I get the internship, it will pay off later in life. 

This is a breakdown of my day. Sorry the image is a little blurry, you may have to click on it to enlarge. Anyway, the interview took almost no time because let's face it I know my stuff. I spent the majority of the day on mass transit (bus, subway). To be fair, I started off at Port Authority, and then jetted up to the Upper East Side because I was running late (BUT I MADE IT ON TIME!) Then I visited a friend in midtown, then visited another friend at NYU. I got pretty lost around NYU because...well I don't actually know why. I didn't really look at the map, but thankfully, I had my new phone to help me. Phew. Otherwise, that could have gotten bad. 

Plus I got some pinkberry today, so all in all I'd say it was a pretty great day, which is saying a lot since you probably got all depressed after reading my last post. It's OK. We're all going to be fine. 

dumb dumb dumb

I'm completely useless, honestly. What was I doing studying all of these useless subjects in high school and college? Economics? Useless. English? Useless.

Why didn't I realize that when a recession hits the economy, all people want are mechanized robots to plug and chug numbers. We don't need thinkers. We don't need innovators. We just need the occasional accountant and engineer who will keep the world afloat.

There are a number of things I should have studied: 1) Accounting 2) Computer programming.

Instead, I dallied in languages,  music, and art.

Maybe I'm just cut out to be a bum. Yeah, it's pretty ironic that I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in high school and now I'm here contemplating finding a job at the mall to fund my educational loans and caffeine habit.

I'm going to start my own business.

post-grad blues

I guess gradually losing your friends from school over time is inevitable. I had hoped that it wouldn't happen and that we would just have the same connection from afar. In some situations it's possible. Maybe it just depends on your expectations. For people that matter in my life I will always make time, but some people just don't get that.

This graph shows the amount of contact I've had with people from my prestigious liberal arts institution over the summer. (Mind you, I'm not actually insane and just guesstimated, though my guesstimates tend to be dead on).  

an average day

Today is just another average day in what appears to be the most mundane beginning of autumn I have ever experienced. It's a lazy day. Outside is still and full of green thanks to the extensive rainfall we've experienced this summer. Yes, it's actually quite nice admiring nature from my seat in our breakfast nook.

This morning I applied to a few more jobs e-mailed to me by careerbuilder.com. Thanks careerbuilder, only it seems that I've already applied to half of the jobs you listed. 

summer stats

This is a chart displaying my recent lack of success with the job search. These figures are approximate...I haven't actually been keeping that close of a count. Plus, there's the problem of where to count the several pointless head hunter appointments I've attended.

Here you see that the future looks fairly bleak. I've applied to 150+ jobs and just about 10 phone interviews. And still, no success. It's getting super depressing.  

But fear not. Something will work out they say, they promise you, as you walk away from graduation a few ten thousand dollars in debt. I'm not giving up hope just yet, but I have adopted a rather cavalier attitude toward the working world. Personally, I'm convinced that people aren't after the best. They don't want someone who is going to one day steal their jobs! They want someone who is going to be someone to pal around with. Well, my apologies then. I'm sorry I get a thrill out of working and that I'm just brilliant. Teach me anything and I will understand it and do it well. 

hello, world!

It's what they all say when they start blogs so I figured I might as well join everyone else.

This is the first post of "gainfully unemployed: staying sane and productive while job searching." You'll find a dose of my humor, as well as the tales of triumph and rejection that accompany the job search process. It's been three months (almost four) since I graduated from an esteemed institution of learning, and I've got plenty of stories to tell.

I hope you will bear with me while I write about this. Sometimes it will be painful, but I hope you will be able to find the humor that I find in it.